| Dating can be a wonderful experience, but there comes a point where you need something more. What you need is a committed relationship. But how do you know if you are with the right person now (assuming you are already dating), or if you should try looking for somebody else?
The first thing you need to do is look at things objectively. You have to do your best to take the emotion out of it and use a logical approach to your desire for a committed relationship. That means you have to ask yourself if you are actually looking for commitment, or if you are looking for something else. As long as you are being honest with yourself there are no wrong answers.
Okay, so you have decided you really want to be in a committed relationship, but there are still a few more things to do.
Decide what you want from the relationship - Knowing what you want will help you to find the right person to be committed to. Again, the key is to be honest with yourself. If you are looking for someone to give you financial security, then say so; if you want someone to make you feel special, then say so. At the same time, you should also think about what you can offer to your partner. It wouldn't be fair for only one of you to give their all while the other one takes, so be sure to think about what you are adding to the relationship.
Assess your current relationship - If you are currently in a relationship, then you need to take a close look at your partner to see if they can provide the things you want (and if you can provide the things they want). Nobody is perfect, so you have to be willing to accept your partner for who they are, not who you want them to be. The only thing that you are trying to change is the level of commitment in your relationship.
Talk to your partner about being in a committed relationship - Let's face it, commitment scares some people, but you still need to have a discussion with your partner. This is an important topic, and one where assumptions usually do more harm than good. You know your partner best, so you'll have to decide what the best method is for bringing it up. Be sure to discuss the subject in a way that is calm, respectful and sincere.
Make changes, if needed - If your partner isn't quite ready to be in a committed relationship, then you have three basic choices. 1) Ignore it and be trapped in a non-committed relationship, 2) give them a bit more time, 3) break up and move on with your life. Which option is best will depend on you and your situation. However, you do need to make a decision and then proceed from there. |